Saturday, June 11, 2005

Some things I would like to know - Part- I

One of the greatest secrets of the century was revealed recently when it was let known that it had been Mark Felt who was Deep Throat. With that announcement hundreds of conspiracy theories were laid to rest. Inspired by that I decided to write a post on all the things that I would like to know. None of them are factual obviously (cause then I will have some smart ass asking me to Google!)

Here are some things I would like to know. For convenience sake I will be posting it in two parts. Actually, I don't have ten things yet but if I come up with 5 more you will definitely know it.

1. What exactly did that inner voice tell Sonia Gandhi?


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Did it speak in Italian? For someone who had been accused of not understanding the sentiments of the Indian people Sonia Gandhi's announcement last May screamed otherwise. In a country where politicians look like ravenous wolves chasing elusive meat Sonia's "sacrifice" made sure of her position in a different league altogether. The arrangement seems quite nice now:

Sonia remains the power behind the throne, she doesn't have any responsibility except to keep the coallition running and if the government fails she can still come out in 2009 and campaign with her image intact.

Plus, the foundation has been laid for the next generation of Gandhis.

2. Will people at The Hindu ever realize how boring the supplements are

This blog was launched last October with a post that attacked the tabloid nature of Times Of India while praising The Old lady of Mount Road- The Hindu. Eight months on I realize I spend exactly 15 seconds each day with the Hindu supplement- just to go over the cartoons.

More than 50% of the supplement is covered with regulars like cartoon strips and TV times and advertisements among others. The rest of the articles are crap ( with exceptions) . There is so much to write about- music, books, movies and the like and yet everytime you open the supplement- there you have it staring at you- CRAP!

for example: Take 2 ( where celebrities meet up and ask each other dumbass questions)

The less said about the sunday magazine the better. Mind numbing articles about art, health and travel ensure you go back to sleep in a jiffy. The less said about Bill Kirkman's column the better. Some babble about muncipal politics in the United Kingdom- why the f*** do I care! The only page that is worth reading is ironically Page 3. Shashi Tharoor and Ramchandra Guha ensure that. (only every fortnight though)

My question is: Why so many articles about one thing? People want entertainment. If they want more serious stuff they would pick up the main page. Maybe, this is a result of the fact that the newspaper hasn't had any competition for the past 10 years. Maybe, they don't have the right personnel. Whatever the reason I hope there is a change soon.

Before I forget- The editors at The Hindu have gotten better over the past one year at one thing- blowing their own trumpet.

3. Why are the Brits so obsessed with the royal family?

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We have Live and exclusive coverage of the royal wedding right here on BBC World in around six hours time. Make sure you tune in if that is your sort of thing- BBC News Reader.

If you thought that we were obsessed with our movie stars and our cricketers let me assure that the Brits take the word obsession to a new level. Never before in the history of man kind have so many been so obsessed with so few. What is it with the Brits and this totally dysfunctional family? Polls were taken all across UK to determine the mood of the nation before the royal wedding! POLLS!

On the other hand the fact you have a stuck up snob, a bigot, adulterers, teenage dopeheads and so on means you can explain the Brits behaviour to a certain extent.

I bet the executives at the big television channels in USA are disappointed that they dont have such a high profile family in their country. This is actually THE perfect recipe for a reality series.

4. Is this man gay and is there anyway we can give him a one way ticket to Pakistan?
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It's not like I hate the Pakistanis, its just that our politicians seem to be bending over repeatedly to make them happy. case in point: Mr. Advani.

So why not send him there? After all, the Pakistanis LOVE his movies. So, thats got to be good. right?

5. How did this man convince an entire nation to vote for him not once but TWICE?!


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I blogged about the American Elections. I realize I dont have anything else to add. Go here.

( A bonus) My favourite bushisms:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -- Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." -- Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?" - to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001 ( Brazil has the world's second largest black population after Africa)

Now, don't just sit there! Is there anything you want to know? You might just get the answer here!

28 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

who's that guy in #4 that you want to send packin to Pakiland???

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats Karan Johar. India's most popular director. Known for producing some insanely melodramatic movies.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Zira said...

LOL am so tempted to deal with each one of your queries. I laffed my heart out on Karan Johar.. i agree with you!

8:43 PM  
Blogger Girl said...

Oh yes, please do send Gayran Johar packing to Pakistan, and let him never come back. Bastid.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous freebutcomesataprice said...

1)"With great power comes great responsibility" what a load of crap? Sonia has got the easiest job in the world. if anything goes wrong manmohan head will be on the block.She played her cards very well. not bad for a waitress.

2)i c your point. i think " The Hindu" needs a makeover; not like the superficial one they had recently.

3)u forgot their other obsession:Mr.almost blue blood i live in a palace David Beckham.remember the coverage of Princess diana's funeral while Mother therasa's demise got a 20 second mention.

4)y the doubt he is GAY. have u heard any rumors reg this guy?no.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous freebutcomesataprice said...

btw my fourth point is rather vague....HE IS GAY!NO doubt about it.

3:25 AM  
Blogger Sudhir said...

Hey man, got here from vinods blog...Quite a diverse humorous set of work here...

Was wondering, if you've checked out the movie, " All the presidents men", Its a fantastic movie, about "Deep throat"..u must

7:05 AM  
Blogger Hari said...

Already told u what i thought of this... eagerly awaiting the next five. btw do u think Karan Johar is Manish Malhotra's partner ?

I'd like to know... is selling a newspaper for 1 re. affordable?

7:55 AM  
Blogger P said...

Zira and Shwe:

I am glad that there are people out there who agree with me!

10:40 AM  
Blogger P said...

Sudhir: Nope haven't seen that movie. but heard about it.

Hari: The other 5 will take some time to come :) I would like to know the same answer. But I guess they wont sell it at that price without making a profit. Considering how much stuff is cut and paste from the net I wont be surprised if they make a big profit!

10:43 AM  
Blogger P said...

@ Free but comes at a price:

Yeah, totally forgot about Becks! I hope DC actually challenges The Hindu on its own turf. That would mean that The Hindu would have to go in for an actual makeover. That will make things more interesting.

The guy is gay and I bet he is after Shahrukh!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Sharad said...

Harry the Nazi is hilarious da - don't know whether to feel sorry for him or not ...under tremendous media scrutiny, but he's also amazingly idiotic !

I think Sonia is a great lady da ! She's doing a good job keeping the coalition together ( so far at least). Read somwhere that she was going to Russia soon. Good for her. Can continue what her Grandfather in Law did with the Soviets..

11:48 AM  
Blogger Ms. V said...

I don't think you particularly need me to tell you this, but you're funny. (And I mean that in a good way!)

9:06 PM  
Anonymous Freebutcomesataprice said...

i cannot believe this.prashanth is funny. it can only mean one thing Vikram can influence others.

since my work is done i'll move onto my next project "Rmkv loving, koizumi pitching, i induce comas with my babbling"HARI

9:20 PM  
Blogger Miss Sea said...

two prashnaths at Kirthi's blog! u also have a nice place here. and i do'nt diclose my name because i don't want Most people who read my blog know me by name ..i don't want it to be vice versa :)

About the supplement, which newspaper has a good supplement?

And Bush's re-election baffles me too!

11:03 PM  
Blogger P said...

Sharad: that guy is a dope head! As far as sonia is concerned I think she is just keeping the seat warm for her son.

Ms. V: Thank you! That means a lot to me. I can assure you that it means a lot to the guy who has posted after you as well!

9:51 AM  
Blogger P said...

@ Tipsy: I don't know about that!Supplements seem to suck. But the Hindu can do better.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous Hari said...

@freebutcomesataprice : babbling?...man u touched a nerve but what the hell ... I'll take it for all the entertainemnt provided over four years Mr.'I rank lower than Pps on the humor scale' :)

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fantastic post. loved it.

3:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fantastic post. loved it.
Shiva.

3:06 AM  
Blogger Sharad said...

And on the brits being obsessed with the Royal Family, you should listen to 'God Save the Queen' by the Sex Pistols . Great song da !

5:37 AM  
Blogger P said...

thanks shiva! and Sharard send that song!!

10:15 AM  
Blogger Kirthi said...

Hah! I loved this post. Has most of the evergreen elements for satire: Bush, Brits, Sonia, Karan Johar.
Well written and well compiled.

2:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

evergreen elements? YEAH!!!

Thanks for that kirthi :)

Prashanth

10:24 PM  
Blogger Karthik said...

Hey man,

I agree in part when u say Hindu's supplementary on weekdays are boring .. But on weekends.. Man they are really good.. The travelogues, Bill Kirkman column, short stories, slice of life are too good.. If u dont like them, i am sorry .. u aint able to appreciate different perspectives..

p.s -- i hate kalpana sharma's column. It smacks of feminism !!!!

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with yu about kalpana sharma but don't you think one article about travel is more than sufficient? We have two or three every sunday! add to that boring articles about obscure artists and BRIDGE!

prashanth

1:03 AM  
Blogger Vinesh said...

Nice list.
I had the same questions in mind too..

2:34 AM  
Blogger P said...

thanks dude!

2:35 AM  

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