Thursday, June 16, 2005

Some things I would like to know - Part- II

6. When will this man leave?

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He has been in charge of Manchester United for close to two decades. Under him United have become the biggest club in the world. But financial success has not translated to success in Europe and now they are struggling in England as well.

The players from the golden generation are in the twilight of their careers and replacements havent been found. Plus, the take over of the club by Malcolm Glazer has severely reduced United's transfer budget every season.

Its a time to usher in a new era at Old Trafford.

7. Will the superstar ever enter active politics?

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His magnum opus Baba ended with him choosing the people of Tamil Nadu over the sages from the Himalayas! Every sign indicated his entry into politics. However, the movie bombed at the box office (more because of
a pathetic script) and the man was forced to shelve all plans.

After disastrously backing the AIADMK-BJP combine in last years assembly elections he has come back with a bank with Chandramukhi. But will his image translate into actual votes?

8 . Why is India so fascinated by this guy?
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Take a good look at that photo. A good hard look. Bored? You are? I am sorry my friend but you are in a small club. A club that has just two members. You and me.Be cause you see the rest of the country is hooked. This is the ONLY expression the man is capable of.

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Not to forget the pose with his arms stretched wide. (every bloody movie!). Last heard, he was asking himself the same question!

9. Where are hell are those weapons of mass destruction

The lies:

* Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction- Dick Cheney August 26, 2002

*We are asked to accept Saddam decided to destroy those weapons. I say that such a claim is palpably absurd -Tony Blair, Prime Minister 18 March, 2003

*Our intelligence officials estimate that Saddam Hussein had the materials to produce as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent -George W. Bush January 28, 2003

* We know where they are. They are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad- Donald Rumsfeld March 30, 2003

The explanation:

Before people crow about the absence of weapons of mass destruction, I suggest they wait a bit- Tony Blair 28 April, 2003

I never believed that we'd just tumble over weapons of mass destruction in that country- Donald Rumsfeld May 4, 2003

U.S. officials never expected that "we were going to open garages and find" weapons of mass destruction -Condoleeza Rice May 12, 2003

The truth :

* For bureaucratic reasons, we settled on one issue, weapons of mass destruction (as justification for invading Iraq) because it was the one reason everyone could agree on.

Paul Wolfowitz May 28, 2003

( and finally)

10.Men and Porn. How do we explain it to women?
??



Saturday, June 11, 2005

Some things I would like to know - Part- I

One of the greatest secrets of the century was revealed recently when it was let known that it had been Mark Felt who was Deep Throat. With that announcement hundreds of conspiracy theories were laid to rest. Inspired by that I decided to write a post on all the things that I would like to know. None of them are factual obviously (cause then I will have some smart ass asking me to Google!)

Here are some things I would like to know. For convenience sake I will be posting it in two parts. Actually, I don't have ten things yet but if I come up with 5 more you will definitely know it.

1. What exactly did that inner voice tell Sonia Gandhi?


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Did it speak in Italian? For someone who had been accused of not understanding the sentiments of the Indian people Sonia Gandhi's announcement last May screamed otherwise. In a country where politicians look like ravenous wolves chasing elusive meat Sonia's "sacrifice" made sure of her position in a different league altogether. The arrangement seems quite nice now:

Sonia remains the power behind the throne, she doesn't have any responsibility except to keep the coallition running and if the government fails she can still come out in 2009 and campaign with her image intact.

Plus, the foundation has been laid for the next generation of Gandhis.

2. Will people at The Hindu ever realize how boring the supplements are

This blog was launched last October with a post that attacked the tabloid nature of Times Of India while praising The Old lady of Mount Road- The Hindu. Eight months on I realize I spend exactly 15 seconds each day with the Hindu supplement- just to go over the cartoons.

More than 50% of the supplement is covered with regulars like cartoon strips and TV times and advertisements among others. The rest of the articles are crap ( with exceptions) . There is so much to write about- music, books, movies and the like and yet everytime you open the supplement- there you have it staring at you- CRAP!

for example: Take 2 ( where celebrities meet up and ask each other dumbass questions)

The less said about the sunday magazine the better. Mind numbing articles about art, health and travel ensure you go back to sleep in a jiffy. The less said about Bill Kirkman's column the better. Some babble about muncipal politics in the United Kingdom- why the f*** do I care! The only page that is worth reading is ironically Page 3. Shashi Tharoor and Ramchandra Guha ensure that. (only every fortnight though)

My question is: Why so many articles about one thing? People want entertainment. If they want more serious stuff they would pick up the main page. Maybe, this is a result of the fact that the newspaper hasn't had any competition for the past 10 years. Maybe, they don't have the right personnel. Whatever the reason I hope there is a change soon.

Before I forget- The editors at The Hindu have gotten better over the past one year at one thing- blowing their own trumpet.

3. Why are the Brits so obsessed with the royal family?

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We have Live and exclusive coverage of the royal wedding right here on BBC World in around six hours time. Make sure you tune in if that is your sort of thing- BBC News Reader.

If you thought that we were obsessed with our movie stars and our cricketers let me assure that the Brits take the word obsession to a new level. Never before in the history of man kind have so many been so obsessed with so few. What is it with the Brits and this totally dysfunctional family? Polls were taken all across UK to determine the mood of the nation before the royal wedding! POLLS!

On the other hand the fact you have a stuck up snob, a bigot, adulterers, teenage dopeheads and so on means you can explain the Brits behaviour to a certain extent.

I bet the executives at the big television channels in USA are disappointed that they dont have such a high profile family in their country. This is actually THE perfect recipe for a reality series.

4. Is this man gay and is there anyway we can give him a one way ticket to Pakistan?
--


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It's not like I hate the Pakistanis, its just that our politicians seem to be bending over repeatedly to make them happy. case in point: Mr. Advani.

So why not send him there? After all, the Pakistanis LOVE his movies. So, thats got to be good. right?

5. How did this man convince an entire nation to vote for him not once but TWICE?!


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I blogged about the American Elections. I realize I dont have anything else to add. Go here.

( A bonus) My favourite bushisms:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -- Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." -- Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?" - to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001 ( Brazil has the world's second largest black population after Africa)

Now, don't just sit there! Is there anything you want to know? You might just get the answer here!

Monday, June 06, 2005

The Untitled Prashanth V Project

Shweta tagged me on her blog. I just had to do this!

Here is my list.

1 . Total volume of music files on my computer:

3.3 GB- hey I just bought a new hard disk!

2. The last CD/cassette I bought was:

(oddly enough) #1 - Beatles

3. Songs playing right now:

1. Shake my tree- David Coverdale and Jimmy Page. (listen to it- ROCKS!)
2. Masterplan- Oasis
3. Hallowed be thy name- Iron Maiden

4. Five albums that mean a lot to me

#1 Led Zeppelin 4 - Led Zeppelin
#2 Dark Side Of The Moon- Pink Floyd
#3 Definitely Maybe- Oasis
#4 Falling into Infinity- Dream Theater
#5 Led Zeppelin 3- Led Zeppelin

(the OST of Almost Famous does not technically qualify as an album but let me tell you its an excellent introduction to good rock and roll music!)

5. Four favourite concept albums

#1 Wish You Were Here ( Pink Floyd) - Written entirely for that rather eccentric Mr. Syd Barret who had disappeared from the public eye! The man actually turned up during the recording of the album. He arrived unannounced, looking bald and fat, and had put on so much weight that some of the band did not recognize him at first. Others were close to tears; Waters later confided that he cried. Barrett asked at one point if there was anything he could do and that he was available if needed. He hadn't been seen by the band in seven years, and wasn't seen again after that point. (click on the link for the album cover)

#2 Metropolis, Pt. 2: Scenes From A Memory - Dream Theater (1999)- The album deals with a man undergoing extensive hypnosis to relive the circumstances that led to the murder of his lover Victoria. A brilliant album to boot replete with extensive guitar solos.

#3 Supernatural- Santana A quick google search confirmed its status as a concept album. Easily one of the best albums of the nineties. Quick Trivia: Santana wanted to name the album after an African King who brought happiness through music- the kings name? Mumbo Jumbo! This was before Mr. Clyde Davis convinced him to change his mind.

#4 Dark Side of The Moon ( Pink Floyd)- Obviously. 741 weeks on the Billboard chart. Shows that Americans liked quality music at some point of time. Now Hollerback Girl makes the top 10.

Five songs that mean a lot to me

1. Live Forever- Oasis ( Definitely Maybe) -My introduction to Rock & Roll. Beats Wonderwall hollow. Brilliant lyrics, vocals and guitar.

2. No Quarter ( Song remains the version) - Led Zeppelin ( forget stairway to heaven mate. listen to the guitar in this !)

3. Freebird- Lyrnrd Skynyrd ( Produced leh-nerd skin-nerd)- Heard it for the first when I got sloshed in Purple Haze- Bangalore. Absolutely brilliant.Brilliant guitar solo.

4. A Change Of Seasons- Dream Theater: 22 minutes of pure melody. Its incredible how they maintain the intensity throughout. And NO! Its not metal. Much better than your Linkin Park and gang.

5. Dream On - Aerosmith. (only the live version!) Just listen to Steven Tyler.

I hereby tag

1. the ever graceful Anjana. ( plus her blog needs a post!)
2. Sarath - Seriously eclectic music taste(like me) . Will be a very interesting read!

( praying I dont get slaughtered for not having any songs or albums by Beatles)

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I dont do this usually but this was fun!

To kill time I took a quiz! There are a lot of quizzes like this at that site. Including which rejected crayon are you?! I would like to believe that the result is true. Let me know what you think.





You Are a Pundit Blogger!



Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few
.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Dedicated to Dempo Football Club


Diego Vs Southampton

Life sure is interesting. You feel you are in complete control and wham next minute you are at the bottom of the pile. At times nothing depicts the unpredictability of life better than sport. And what better sport than the beautiful game itself.I could quote numerous instances here. But I will stick to one. ( don't want to bore all you cricket lovers!)

Most football fans first heard of Diego Forlan when he was "poached" by Manchester United from Middlesbrough at the Heathrow airport just as he had landed from South America! He had spent the previous years scoring goals for fun. People gasped when they saw the statistics. Everything seemed to point out to the fact that Forlan was class and was going to be the next big thing.

Over the next thirty months Forlan went through hell. It took the guy eight months to score his first goal and that came from a penalty against an Israeli club. He looked out of place every time he stepped on the pitch though it has to be said that the guy rarely got more than a few minutes every game

What he did offer was comic relief. Often he would trip over the ball, take shots that would end up near the corner flag miles away from the goal evoking laughter among the opposition fans. United fans were often left wondering what had made the club close to 7 million pounds on him. He often found himself in ridiculous positions like in his own half meaning his own players didnt have any striker to pass the ball too.

Even when he did score like he did against Southampton he found himself in trouble. He removed his shirt in celebration and found it impossible to put it back on. Some intelligent guy passed the ball to him and he had to play with his shirt in his hand! (see photo above)

The arrival of the very horny and very well behaved Wayne Rooney effectively meant that he had to look for pastures else where. He joined Villarreal in Spain (not a well known club by any means among non-football fans) at the beginning of this season.

The rest as they say is history. The man scored on debut, everyone put it down as a fluke. More goals followed and everytime he scored we were wondering what was he doing wrong at United. One year and 25 goals later Forlan has ended up top scorer in Spain ahead of well known super stars like Ronaldo, Raul, Owen and Etoo and Villarreal find themselves in unchartered territories of the Champions league.

Truly a brilliant, something that can be appreciated more by people who remember the crap that he was at Old Trafford. As for you, the next time you are feeling down remember Diego Forlan!

PS: The title is a dedication to one of my best friends Mr. Varun Ramdas. The only person I know who follows Indian football with dedication. It so happens his team is Dempo Sports Club, Goa and they won the national league title this year.