Friday, December 17, 2004

Oceans 12- 50 bucks down the drain

(Loads of spoilers)

One of the most commonly recurring characters in Hollywood is that of the hot intelligent bombshell. The one with a figure that would make Bo Derek look fat and with an IQ that would make Einstein cover his scorecard in shame. She is the kind of woman who would be able to dismantle a nuclear bomb in a matter of a few minutes, only she would prefer to do it in a bikini. She is the also kind of woman who would be able to pull of a sentence like “The magnitude of the asymmetry for a particular polarimeter, and the probability of scattering, is in general calibrated with experimental data using protons of known polarization.” without battling an eyelid.

I thought I had seen the worst of them in Denise Richards as Miss. Christmas Jones (yeah, Miss. Christmas Jones) in The World Is Not Enough but Catherine Zeta Jones as Isabel Lahiri in Oceans 12 was quite something else. Isabel was fun to watch as she walked around cracking cases before one could say Cosmo Kramer!

The way she cracked the case in Amsterdam had me in splits, she takes one look at the vault, looks around, sees a partially open window and presto, she knows exactly how it was done! ( This includes stuff like the thieves actually raising the level of the house).The best scene with Isabel comes about half way through the movie; she needs her boss to authorize men to tail Ocean and his gang. Her boss refuses only for Isabel to forge his signature after just looking at it once!

As for the movie itself, it was drab and unimaginative. Even the star cast could not hide the fact that the heist was nothing but the old switcheroo. The way the Night fox gets past the “random” lasers was nothing short of ridiculous. The Julia Roberts thing was utter rubbish. That’s not imaginative! ( Yeah, there are some good bits especially with Matt Damon as he tries to step into the shoes of Clooney and Pitt but these are few and far between)

It was quite a fall from the fantastic heights reached by the first movie. What really surprises me is the fact that the director went out of his way to buy the movie script. What irritates me is that people are finding excuses to explain why they loved the movie. It would have been fun to hear what they would had to say if it had been my Captain Vijaykanth in the lead and Rambha playing someone who poses as Rambha.